It's me!

Jezen Thomas

Founder of NewBusinessMonitor

Programmer at Zimpler

My name is Jezen Thomas, and I am a software developer. I am originally from London, UK, though I currently live in Gdynia, Poland.

This site is a collection of blog posts outlining some of my thoughts and learnings on various aspects of software design. These blog posts are probably interesting to you if you enjoy things like Vim, Unix, Haskell, Ruby, and JavaScript.

Since beginning my programming career in 2011, I have worked with clients in Sweden, Germany, Poland, The United Kingdom, and The United States. I have written sites and applications for several multinational companies in car manufacturing, marine navigation, security, fashion, sports, design, and finance.

Elsewhere, I share sarcastic quips about computers being perpetually broken on Twitter, and a photographic highlight reel of my adventures on Instagram. If you want to get in touch with me, email is best.


I have written for a few technical journals, and I am lucky enough to have been cited and interviewed a couple of times. To see me speak on stage, visit my speaking page.


  • Work Jul ’16 Presented a talk about building web applications with Haskell at Build Stuff conference in Odessa, Ukraine.
  • Life Jun ’16 Bought a 2006 Porsche 911 Carrera S Cabriolet. Feels good man.
  • Life May ’16 Bought a 1997 Polish Fiat 126 with some spare cash I had in my pocket. Within 24 hours of buying it, I burned through the clutch and rendered the car immobile.
  • Life May ’16 Joined Syft. First official leadership position.
  • Work Oct ’15 Presented a talk at Falsy Values in Warsaw, Poland. First time speaking at a major conference.
  • Work Sep ’15 First time one of my articles hit the front page of Hacker News.
  • Work Aug ’15 Joined UXPin, working full-time on a single-page application with React.js.
  • Life Apr ’15 Attended the Precision Driving course at Porsche’s racing school in Leipzig, Germany. Moved to Gdynia, Poland.
  • Life Dec ’14 Swapped my Porsche Boxster S for a 2004 Porsche Cayenne S, which I later came to regret.
  • Work Jan ’14 Joined Vaamo Finanz AG: a FinTech startup in Frankfurt, Germany. First foray into functional programming with Scala, and first full-time remote job, working from home in Gothenburg, Sweden.
  • Life Apr ’13 Flew to Berlin and bought a 2003 Porsche Boxster S.
  • Work Aug ’12 Joined Rekyl Reklambyrå in Borås, Sweden. Used WordPress as a hammer for which everything looks like a nail. Sadly.
  • Work Sep ’11 Joined Itiden for my first real programming job in Gothenburg, Sweden. Lived on the floor of a friend’s bedroom in a three-bedroom apartment that we shared with 10 other people.
  • Work Jan ’11 Performed as a stilt-walker at the Qatar ExxonMobil Open and AFC Asian Cup sporting events in Doha, Qatar.
  • Life Jun ’10 Bought my first car, a red 1990 Mazda MX5. Rusted and broken in parts, though it did drive. I drove it from Calais, France to Gothenburg, Sweden the day I bought it, with the roof down the entire time, which looked slightly absurd on the Autobahn at night.
  • Work Jun ’10 Performed as a drumming robot on stilts at World Ducati Week in Misano Adriatico, Italy.
  • Work Dec ’08 Joined a band and recorded an angsty teen rock album. Yes, really.
  • Life Jun ’08 Travelled to Gothenburg, Sweden, for a holiday. Decided to stay for seven years.
  • School Sep ’06 Moved to Newcastle upon Tyne, UK. Started studying music at Newcastle College.
  • School Jun ’06 Finished high school. Total schools attended: 15. Total suspensions from school: 6.
  • School Sep ’05 Awarded scholarship to study music in the weekend school at The Sage, Gateshead.
  • Life Feb ’05 Moved to Darlington, UK. I wouldn’t recommend it.
  • Life Feb ’04 Joined the 318 Squadron of the Australian Air Force Cadets. Co-piloted a Piper PA-38 Tomahawk aeroplane.
  • Life ??? ’97 Moved to Sydney, Australia.
  • Life Jun ’90 Born in London, UK, at Chase Farm Hospital. Mayhem ensues.